When I was a boy one of the best things I can remember doing was walking to the 7-11 to buy candy. I have this distinct memory of the freedom I felt knowing that I was on my own to walk the few blocks without my mother there to make sure everything was OK. This is the earliest recollection I have of the ever expanding world in which I live.
I would think every human has moments like this that define their lives. We all start as infants exploring the world as we know it and then grow into the creatures whose behaviors define the rest of our days....lambs of habit, or lions of change. Either way we are all works in progress. We set our stakes and stay put, or we spread our wings and roam. There may be something in between, but as I search in and around my mind I cannot find it.
I feel a vast world around me now. I see a final destination but haven't always recognized the journey; A long fall from the crib to the floor...My view of the living room from on top of a chair...Feeling the wind in my hair as my bicycle wheels its way to the end of the street and back...Walking to the 7-11 and exploring strange driveways and hedges along the way...Driving on the freeway for the very first time...Realizing at a tender young age that faraway places are within my reach...Falling in love, and making love, for the first time...Witnessing the miracle of life in the eyes of my newborn child...Feeling the pain of human loss...The view from an airplane window...Crossing America's borders...Seeing history with my own eyes......Sharing the boundaries of my heart and soul with someone I adore...Then the unknown; death, one day to be my final frontier.
I imagine his adult life was much like mine is today. I have an instinctual sense of parity with my father in this way. I search for the truth about who I am. In retrospect I can see that he journeyed similarly too. He could have been possibly looking for something, or more likely hiding from it. But he seemed to devote time to keeping answers from me. I try to forgive him this point and these ramblings help that effort. My 40's so far have been spent exploring the waterways of my mind in search of fords and safe places to cross. On the other side I hope to find peace of mind. I imagine he will be there when I arrive. Maybe then I'll be able to tell him that his life, especially the one he never lived, has been...for all these years, the air that's expanded and then filled the margins of my own existence.
-Jim Franks
I would think every human has moments like this that define their lives. We all start as infants exploring the world as we know it and then grow into the creatures whose behaviors define the rest of our days....lambs of habit, or lions of change. Either way we are all works in progress. We set our stakes and stay put, or we spread our wings and roam. There may be something in between, but as I search in and around my mind I cannot find it.
I feel a vast world around me now. I see a final destination but haven't always recognized the journey; A long fall from the crib to the floor...My view of the living room from on top of a chair...Feeling the wind in my hair as my bicycle wheels its way to the end of the street and back...Walking to the 7-11 and exploring strange driveways and hedges along the way...Driving on the freeway for the very first time...Realizing at a tender young age that faraway places are within my reach...Falling in love, and making love, for the first time...Witnessing the miracle of life in the eyes of my newborn child...Feeling the pain of human loss...The view from an airplane window...Crossing America's borders...Seeing history with my own eyes......Sharing the boundaries of my heart and soul with someone I adore...Then the unknown; death, one day to be my final frontier.
I imagine his adult life was much like mine is today. I have an instinctual sense of parity with my father in this way. I search for the truth about who I am. In retrospect I can see that he journeyed similarly too. He could have been possibly looking for something, or more likely hiding from it. But he seemed to devote time to keeping answers from me. I try to forgive him this point and these ramblings help that effort. My 40's so far have been spent exploring the waterways of my mind in search of fords and safe places to cross. On the other side I hope to find peace of mind. I imagine he will be there when I arrive. Maybe then I'll be able to tell him that his life, especially the one he never lived, has been...for all these years, the air that's expanded and then filled the margins of my own existence.
-Jim Franks
