I
do as I am compelled. I feel it, like I haven't felt in some time.
During Iraq 1.0 I felt a belonging. It was like a new born
breathing fresh air for the very first time and knowing that life isn't a
choice, but a right. It often stifled me though...the uncertainty of
reason. It's a strange sensation to feel liberated by, and yet still a
slave to, something that can't be seen. I believe it was then that I felt
faith for the first time.
But
now, years later, the faith that set me free has blended into a life that's
often been difficult to comprehend. I know I am not meant to understand
that which confounds us all. So it's not the mystery but the purpose that
I struggle with. I meander and fumble for direction and every now and
then I can track the light that leads me to a focal point worth cementing.
Most days I am satisfied with that guide. But on other days I stand on
the banks and watch, wide eyed, as the flood rushes by. I inch close and
I long to feel the rumbling torrent's tremor reverberate deep in my soul.
One of these times I will fall in, I'm sure of it. On that day, for
all its goodness, the liberty I've found won't keep my head above water.
Only faith will keep air in my lungs then. But if I drown I'll do
so drenched in my right to live free.
-Jim
Franks
